It is quiet here at my place this morning. Too quiet. Even with all the good things that have been happening in my life of late, I still feel out of place. My old friend that I have recently reconnected with and who came out to me as bisexual has me in a quandary. We have hooked up a couple of times and as good as the hookup was, it has been unfullfilling. We seem to be seeking different things as all he wants if a good fuck and I am seeking something more. He texts me last night, once again wanting me to party and play. I explained by text that we are both seeking something different in that he wants no strings attached fucking and I am seeking something a lot more meaningful. Is it wrong to want love instead of just sex? Shortly after coming out, a lot of gay and bisexual men go through what I call the "whore phase" where all that is desired is lots of random hook ups with no strings or consequences. I went through that at 25 and I am not eager to repeat that phase. At this point in my life I am seeking romance or something akin to it. My friend does not kiss or cuddle which to me are important elements in a sexual encounter. I am an emotional person as long time readers of Nichevo can attest. I am seeking the emotion that goes with good sex and that is not what my friend is looking for or providing for me. As a result, I have resisted his last couple of invitations to party and play. I explained this to him last night, and his response was another invitation to NSA PNP. I had to finally tell him point blank that I was not coming over. I don't think he understands where I am coming from as he intimated to me that all I really needed was a good blow job. I cannot denigrate the value of a good blow job, but I want something more. I want someone to want me not just my physical ability to get ourselves off and go our merry way. Is this wrong of me, to want someone who wants to be with me, even when we are not having sex? I want to be more than a bong buddy who is a good fuck. Maybe I will not find it, but that does not keep me from looking. I still have hope of finding what I am seeking however I do not think my old friend is the answer I am looking for. Why does this bother me? I explained to him what I am looking for, yet all he offers is the hook up. How can I be more explicit than I have and still maintain a friendship? Do I have to avoid contact to keep from getting pawed and poked when that is not what I want? Maybe I won't find what I am seeking anytime soon, maybe I will. Who knows, I certainly don't. Meanwhile life goes on. And as it does go on, maybe you and I can take some solace in the fantasy world that the eye candy down below provides. Until next time as always, Enjoy!
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