It has been a busy week for me with the new job and all, and I haven't really had time to digest all the news feeds that I receive on a daily basis. As many of you know I read a great number of blogs also. Today when I arrived home from work I read one that touched my heart and gave me tonight's subject. You may remember the beginnings of my coming out story in "Once Upon A Christmas" and how my mother reacted when she outed me to herself and my father through snooping and confrontation. We all know that there are many, many of us out there who have experienced familial rejection, been ostracized by peers and made homeless for the simple fact of being themselves. That is the tragedy for far too many of us. I am lucky that my family and I are on the road to understanding finally after 30 years, but not all are so lucky. Witness this article in Ex-Gay Watch by Timothy Kincaid "Not Under My Roof You Aren't".
This article discusses issues with both minor and adult children living at home and how the ex-gay ministries preach a lot and practice not. The part that really got to me though was a reference to a letter written by a mom to Dear Jody at Pride Source the Michigan LGBT newspaper and signed Distraught Mother. In her letter, she told of a situation similar to mine where she was looking through her son's room and got confrontational with him, ending up throwing him out of her house. This was at Christmas time a year ago. This past summer her son died of a drug overdose on the streets. This should never have happened and could have been prevented as Distraught Mother has realized and is all the sadder for the realization.
If parents only realized that their children only want to be loved for themselves and not what their parents wish them to be, more children both gay and straight would grow to adulthood in a much more well adjusted state of mind and therapists might have to look for other work. Alas it is not so yet, but as we continue to educate the world as to what is normal to us and not necessarily to them, while not being wrong or a sin, they will eventually come to realize their children are really OK. They don't need to be cured or punished, just loved. I would hope that the day comes sooner rather than later. My hope is buoyed by something I read today.
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.Most of you know by now that I have a very warm relationship with Ryan and Mike over at Boys Are Ugly But So Cute. Ryan's post today "Mom Talks" warmed my heart and brought tears to my eyes. Not only do Ryan and Mike have a love story for the ages, Ryan's parents are an example of what all parents should be. Their unbounded love for Ryan and Mike (and their other children) as well as unequivocal acceptance of their loving relationship is uncommon yet so refreshing to see. When you read (or experience) the horror stories that we do, this story makes your heart glad. I wish I would have already had the pleasure of meeting Ryan's parents. I will someday, but I can think of no finer example of parenthood than what I read in Ryan's post today. I just wish that all parents were as fine as his, they are the beacon of hope for the ones that have been blinded by the untruths taught in so many places. I hope he gives his mom and dad a big hug and kiss for me, they already have my respect and admiration.
I am probably past the point of having kids of my own, biologically speaking, but I have several young men that I befriend both gay and straight who relate to me in a fatherly or uncle-like way when they cannot do so with their own parents. This is a sad fact that I am working to change in my own way by providing love where there has been none. I am just glad that I am not alone in the battle. Ryan's parents, Matthew Shephard's mom, LGBT organizations across the USA and around the world are trying to reach out with truth and love for all. When you get the chance, pass the love along......
That about wraps up what I have to say tonight, I just felt that Ryan's mom and dad needed to be recognized as the example they are as a counter point to those that learned the lesson too late to save their relationships with their children or the children themselves. If you are reading this and you recognize yourself in any of these scenarios, I hope it is the last that I pointed out and not the first. Until next time, I leave with the usual assortment of beauty, and as always, Enjoy!
