In the Beginning

Sunrise Over 7th Street, looking East from my store.

Before I begin, I would like to extend my condolences to one of my oldest friends, Steve R. in Virginia who lost his Mom this week.  She was a gentile Southern Lady who was charming, funny, gracious and compassionate.  She will be missed I know, but the circle of life will continue and memories of her will warm the hearts of all who knew her.

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 When I first came to the offices of Stay The Course at the behest of the VA, I did so with not a little trepidation but a lot.  Was I ready to reveal all my deep dark secrets?  I did not know, but I did know that I had to change the course of my life and thoughts or I was going to end up in that rubber room with a straight jacket.  I had been seeing my psychiatrist, Dr Moradi, at the VA on a quarterly basis and she recommended I engage a therapist and pointed me in the direction of Stay the Course.  I placed a desperate phone call and of course got voice mail.  I left a message and Tempa called me back and set an appointment for our first session.  It was early in the establishment of her practice with just she and one other therapist.  I have watched her practice grow to several therapists and staff members.  Many of the staff there are either Veterans themselves or spouses of Veterans, all of whom have the best interests of the Veterans and First Responders who come to them for assistance foremost in their minds.  Tempa herself is married to a Veteran and knows first hand how difficult life is when transitioning from military to civilian life.  Our common experiences as Veterans or First Responders results in a shared bond which one cannot really understand without having been there, done that for yourself.

Tempa is a tall willowy red head with a heart as big as Texas with whom I found it easy to talk.  In our first session, she asked me what my goal was for my course of therapy.  I forget now what turn of phrase I used at the time but basically I wanted Clarity,  Stability and Sanity.  I am a classic bi-polar person.  It was either depression so deep as to be inconsolable or giddy happiness that knew no bounds.  I wanted to be somewhere in the middle with the ability to handle the daily stress that comes with life.  If there is anything I have learned in my lifetime, it is the fact that I can only handle so much stress (very little in fact) before having an adverse reaction to it.  Medication certainly helps, but the ability to handle stress for me is that core feeling of inner peace, and I had no such feeling when I began my sessions with Tempa.

I am prone to erratic behavior, irrational thought, extremely OCD and easily angered.  I am also the caring, compassionate, witty 'Uncle' to everyone.  I often try to provide the means to achieve that inner peace for others that I so desperately seek for myself.  Unfortunately for me, that inner peace has never been possible.  I am closer now than ever I have been.  Tempa has guided me in my journey to get as far as I have.  I have revealed to her things I have never told anyone, often not even myself.  She helped to pry open the cellar door in my mind, sweep out the corners and is helping me to discover what I need to keep and what I need to throw away.  She has helped me to see that staying in the here and now moving forward is the more preferable state of being.  The Past is full of pain, pitfalls and traps which lures me in and then destroy my mental state which has painful physical ramifications.  However, by taking past events in my life, examining them one at a time, then deciding whether it is a treasure to be kept or just plain trash which needs to be disposed of properly has not been an easy task.  I have had to remember things sometimes best forgotten and un-remember things that did not promote a healthy mental state.  I am by no means done with my journey, but before I can tell you where I am going, I must first tell you where I have been. I have hopes my story will help someone else avoid some of the pains and pitfalls life throws at one when one least expects it.

It will take a while for the whole story to come out and deciding to share my tightly bound and hidden secrets was not an easy choice.  However, I have learned to loose their bonds, deal with them face to face one at a time and move on.  Learning how to deal with my issues has helped me face life with a few more tools in the box to deal with whatever comes my way and the way of others in my life.  I have held some of these things so tightly and buried so deep for so long, I had no recollection of them.  In order to discover what has been hidden in the corners of my mind, I must first sort through the pile of crap covering them before I can see what is truly in those dark corners.  Next week I will begin the uncovering with events of my youth, which of course is long past at his point and not always on ready recall.  The past is never as really clear as what we think it is and only by a careful examination of these things can one retain as valuable or reject as unnecessary what it is one finds there.  I hope this will not be as painful for you as it has proven to be for me.

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For your listening pleasure today, I have another of my favorites among the Italian Baroque composers, Luigi Boccherini, with this recording of 5 of his 6 Flute Quintets featuring Jean-Pierre Rampal, Flute; Régis Pasquier, Violin; Roland Pidoux, Violoncello; Mathilde Sternat, Violoncello and Bruno Pasquier, Viola.  You will find the play list after the video.  Also after the playlist is this week's visual treats.  This week we are sticking with the Art side of Male Art with 7 more paintings of young men.  Thank you for the visit, please do come again and as always, Enjoy!

Quintet No. 3 in C Major, G. 439 : I. Allegro vivace (Instrumental) 00:00 

Quintet No. 3 in C Major, G. 439 : II. Cantabile (Instrumental)  

Quintet No. 3 in C Major, G. 439 : III. Andante con variazioni (Instrumental) 

Quintet No. 2 in G Major, G. 438 : I. Allegro (Instrumental)15:00 

Quintet No. 2 in G Major, G. 438 : II. Adagio non tanto (Instrumental) 

Quintet No. 2 in G Major, G. 438 : III. Andante con variazioni (Instrumental) 

Quintet No. 1 in F Major, G. 437 : I. Allegro (Instrumental) 28:51 

Quintet No. 1 in F Major, G. 437 : II. Largo (Instrumental) 

Quintet No. 1 in F Major, G. 437 : III. Grazioso (Instrumental) 

Quintet No. 5 in G Major, G. 441 : I. Moderato (Instrumental 41:00 

Quintet No. 5 in G Major, G. 441 : II. Adagio (Instrumental) 

Quintet No. 5 in G Major, G. 441 : III. Grazioso (Instrumental) 

Quintet No. 6 in B-flat Major, G. 442 : I. Allegro (Instrumental) 53:45 

Quintet No. 6 in B-flat Major, G. 442 : II. Adagio (Instrumental) 

Quintet No. 6 in B-flat Major, G. 442 : III. Rondeau. Grazioso (Instrumental

It's a Conspiarcy, Really...

... or so it seems to me!  I have no clue as to the identity of the collaborators, however people, things and events have combined in a mighty effort to keep me out of bed and off the blog.  They have been immanently successful!  Not that I have had any bad times, really.  In fact I have even worked in a sailing excursion and a trip over into Irving to visit with my best Gal Pal and her daughter who was in from Denver for the weekend.  

My part time business is growing exponentially by word of mouth  about my quality products and tyle of customer service.  his is a good thing, but it also means a lot more time devoted to it.  Again this is a good thing, I started the business to make money and indeed I am making good money at it.  

So bear with me, I will be here as often as I can and will try to continue the quality posts you have come to expect here at Nichevo.  That being said, I do have some Music and a healthy does of male art for your consumption today and some really great stuff for tomorrow's New Adventures in Good Music.  

For today, down below is Mozart's Clarinet Quintet, K 581 with a performance by Clarinetist Seiji Yokokawa; 1st Violin Pamela Frank; 2nd Violin Tatsuya Yabe; Viola by Yasushi Toyoshima and Cellist Yo-Yo Ma.  Over on my tumblr, I have Mozart's Diverimento in E Flat Major, K 563 with the trio of Gidon Kremer on Violin, Kim Kash Kashian on Viola and Yo Yo Ma on Cello, performing beautifully in a Sony recording.  

As for the Male Art, I have combined a couple of collections into a Two for Tuesday featuring your Monday's Undies meeting up with Tuesday's Random Hotness.  You will find them all lounging around the page down below.  Over on my tumblr in another Two for Tuesday featuring Edward Sugalski and a Sens-Asian by Xie.  Thanks for sticking around to see if I would show up.  See you again soon, I promise.  Until next time as always, Enjoy!

Wicked Weather Weekend

It was a weekend full of decidedly wicked weather here in North TX with lots of sleet, snow ice and rain at various times.  That meant it was time for some favorite cold weather activities.  Things like snow ball fights with hot chocolate and s'mores afterward, curling up with a good book, napping at will, and snuggling by the fire with your sweetie (maybe even making love if luck be ours).  I managed to while a way the hours with Internet surfing, fellowship with a few friends and the aforementioned napping at will.  

One thing I did not do is crack my reader for any news.  So I don't really know what is going on in the world right now, I am sure I will discover what is in the due course of events.  However I will not be doing any frantic running to and fro today as my car is in the shop.  Remember the incident where my car inexplicably disabled all the electronics?  Well it turns out that was caused by a defect which GM is now repairing.  What it is is some little part prevented the electronic signal from the transmission when in park to the ignition causing it to discharge the battery disabling the electronics and preventing the removal of the key or the starting of the car.  A quick jump start gets you out of the situation, but it is still a bit disconcerting to have it happen when it does.  Hopefully after today, it will not occur again.  So after I get this up, I think I will take another one of those naps I told you about.  

But first, your Monday with Mozart features a classic performance by the Amadeus Quartet plus Cecil Aronowitz on Viola, filmed in London in June 1966 performing Mozart's String Quintet Number 3 in G Minor, K516.  Over on my tumblr you may hear Mozart's Oboe Quartet in F Major with a live perfromance from 2012 by Christoph Gerbeth, Oboe; Kirill Sharapov, Violin; Andrii Chop, Viola and Anna Nuzha, Cello. 

Then to get your blood to pumping on a Monday, check the majorly discreet beefcake in their finest Monday's Undies in the post down below.  It that doesn't take you over the top, then there is the 'Neon and Nips' Hottie of the Day! over on my tumblr.  Thanks for the visit, see you again soon.  Until next time as always, Enjoy!

A Perfect Response

Two weeks ago in this post, I told you about young Austin Wallis.  Austin is a high school vlogger who has "been on an affirming journey over the past year. He not only has discovered who he is, he has introduced the real him to his personal social circles and the public at large through a YouTube channel.  His videos are fun, silly, charming, and his relationships with teachers and friends are warm and mutually supportive. Life has been good, even granting him a handsome boyfriend."  Austin had been attending Houston's Lutheran North High School, a private religious school, when his headmaster Dallas Lusk called him into the office.  Mr Lusk then told Austin to go back in the closet and delete all his social media or be expelled.  Austin chose to leave Lutheran North and now attends classes elsewhere.  

Gay Dad and blogger Rob Watson wrote a thoughtful piece on the story from which the quote above comes.  Part of Rob's post included a letter to Headmaster Lusk and Austin Wallis which proves to be a Perfect Response to the controversy and delineating succinctly who really has the moral high ground in this situation.  I have posted the letter below so you may read Rob's inspiring words for yourself:

To Mr. Dallas Lusk, Head of School at Lutheran North, and former student Austin Willis:

Gentlemen.  As a father and a Christian, I wanted to weigh in on the current controversy in which you both are active participants. As a parent, I take a sincere interest in schools and their efforts to establish principles for their students, guide them into the world and create the new citizens who will lead us into the future. Whether or not my sons attend a particular school is irrelevant. Their peers, others who may be in their world, will have attended that school and will influence the world in which they live.

This has already happened at Lutheran North. Austin, you have already emerged as its product onto the world stage. You have made yourself known, from your joys to your recent challenges.

Yes. Mr. Lusk had a rule. That rule reads: “Lutheran High North reserves the right, within its sole discretion, to refuse admission of an applicant and/or to discontinue enrollment of a current student participating in, promoting, supporting or condoning: pornography, sexual immorality, homosexual activity or bisexual activity; or displaying an inability or resistance to support the qualities and characteristics required of a Biblically based and Christ-like lifestyle.”

I personally believe that “rules” are limited entities. They are based on bigger principles but address very specific situational elements. If the situation changes, the rule then does not have relevance. A city street might have a “rule” of 15 miles an hour due to high incidence of cross traffic. If all cross traffic is blocked, the “rule” needs to be adjusted and 40 miles and hour might be the appropriate limit to fulfill the bigger principle of public safety.

I am not necessarily saying that Mr. Lusk needs to throw out his rule, although its homophobia is evident, but I am suggesting that he needs to understand, support and advocate for the larger principle behind it. The fact is — there was a violation.

No worries, Austin.  Neither the rule, nor its underlying principle were violated by you.

The rule states that students must not participate “in promoting, supporting or condoning pornography, sexual immorality, homosexual activity (emphasis mine).” It does not say that you cannot be gay.

In his videos, Austin, you were clear on your values. You stated that you did not intend to have sexual relations until after you were married. There was no advocacy for sexual activity of any kind, nor recommendations to view porn. You were demonstratively affectionate in the videos, but not sexual.

If the school somehow wants to take issue with the affection you share on camera with your boyfriend and classify that as “gay sex”, then they need to read their Bibles. Your level of physicality is reflected there. Here is the description of the affection between Jesus and St. John at the last supper: “When Jesus had thus said, he was troubled in spirit, and testified, and said, Verily, verily, I say unto you, that one of you shall betray me. Then the disciples looked one on another, doubting of whom he spake. Now there was leaning on Jesus’ bosom one of his disciples, whom Jesus loved. (John) Simon Peter therefore beckoned to him, that he should ask who it should be of whom he spake. He then lying on Jesus’ breast saith unto him, Lord, who is it?”

I am not implying that the affectionate cuddling on Jesus’s chest by John was participating in, or advocating for gay sex. Likewise, your school cannot and should not be implying the same of you.

So, no Austin, you did not violate the rule. You also did not violate its principle to “to support the qualities and characteristics required of a Biblically based and Christ-like lifestyle.” You have been a model for the “golden rule.”

Mr Lusk, you, however, failed this principle in several ways. First, you bore “false witness” against Austin by using a regulation about sexual activity, when in his public pronouncements he specifically stated he has had none. Your punishment of him was not reprimanding him for something he has done, it is reprimanding him for who he is. That is bigotry, not a “Christ-like” lifestyle. Christ was not a bigot.

Second, his social media activity reaches out to encourage and send love to others and to save them from harm. Your own social media activity has been dishonest and self-serving. His is to make fun love-filled videos, yours has been to interact with the review site Yelp and fraudulently portray yourself as a consumer of your school’s services. You have bolstered your school’s online review standing by rating it the maximum of five stars, designed to influence its average total score. (See image below.)

Rubbing salt in the proverbial wound of your dishonesty was the statement you made in your self-review of the school. You stated, “The kids really feel welcomed and loved…” By your own behavior, they are made to feel loved and welcomed, unless they are gay. Then they are devastated.

This leads me to my biggest issue with your point of view and actions. As a parent, I deal with the holistic range of my sons. They are not perfect, despite what I might tell you on a given day. There are very few issues that would put them into a zero-sum game emotionally and spiritually however. They may do things that are absolutely wrong, but I help them find ways to do those things better, to make an improved choice, even if they cannot make it to a perfect one. For straight kids in your school, you follow this model. You work with them to be the best of who they are, to help them be the best they can be.

You have demonstrated there is no such scale for a gay student. He is gone, seen as worthless automatically. He has no chance, in your eyes, to better himself as a person, to achieve self-improvement. To you, if he is himself, he is worthless period. The rest of his behavior could be saintly, or he could be a charlatan, it would make no difference.

To me, that is a travesty, whether it was from a parent, from an educator and most certainly from a follower of Christ.

I don’t mean to be completely negative about your school, however. I have to acknowledge that it has produced a man who does live up to the heart of Christ, who lives honestly and who I would be thrilled for my sons to emulate.

He is the young man you forced to leave, Mr. Lusk.

Mr. Willis, that man is you.

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You Monday with Mozart features nearly 3 hours of melodic perfection in a presentation of two of his String Quintets, Number 2 in C Minor, KV406(516b) and Number 6 in E Flat Major, KV614.  Today's performance is by Czech Violinist and Composer Josef Suk who is joined by the Smetana Quartet for this recording.  More melodious Mozart is posted over on my tumblr in Mozart's String Quartet Number 17 in B Flat Major with a performance by the Hagen Quartet. 

Be sure to cruise on down for your Monday's Undies in the post below and check out the Hottie of the Day! over on my tumblr for additional underwear fetish fascination.  Thanks for the visit, see you again tomorrow.  Until next time as always, Enjoy!

A Warm Fuzzy Moment

I was reminded last night while at work that one can not always know the effect the simple living of our lives can have on those around us.  As you are all well aware, my Mother passed away in July of this year.  It was for sure a difficult time and yet even in my time of grief, I did not miss any work time.  The first night I worked after Mother passed was exceedingly difficult emotionally, yet I did not feel I could afford to miss work, so there I was.  My customers were terrific, making an awful time bearable with their care and concern.  I was so absorbed in my own emotional struggle, I was totally unaware of any possible benefit my grieving process would be to anyone.  And until yesterday, I never realized how my grief helped someone else.  

I had a young lady come into the store last night who I had not seen in a while, but while waiting on her, she brought up that first night I worked after Mother passed because she wanted to thank me.  My customer had been estranged at the time from her own Mother for a period of about 4 years.  In my disconsolation, I had inspired my customer to make an effort at reconciliation with her estranged Mother.  My customer happily informed me that she had indeed reconciled with her Mother.  In fact, her Mother had just visited her for the first time in years and their relationship was well on its way to mending.  We both got somewhat teary eyed and emotional during our few moments of conversation and I thanked here for thanking me.  It was definitely a warm fuzzy moment for both of us.  Our conversation served to remind me one is not always aware of the positive effects even a negative event in our lives can have on persons with whom we come in contact. It brings me joy to know that even unintentionally and totally unaware, I was able to positive effect this young lady's life and that of her Mother.  I still do not know her name, nor is it necessary for me to know, however I know and she knows we are both better for the experience. 

Your Friday Musical Moment features two great Romantic chamber works in an enthusiastic all-piano treatment.by not one but two Composers, Robert Schumann and Johannes Brahms. On this CD by French Pianist Cyprien Katsaris and Canadian Pianist Hélène Mercier, France's piano wizard has produced an impressive recording of these iconic pieces for his own label.  The play list includes the Sonata for two Pianos in F minor, opus 34b by Johannes Brahms and the Piano Quintet in E flat major, opus 44  by Robert Schumann arranged for piano four hands by Clara Schumann.  While over on my tumblr you may hear the magnificent and rarely performed transcription by Brahms of the Piano Quartet opus 47 in E flat major by Schumann for Piano Four Hands in a live concert performance by Pianists Dorel Golan and Victor Stanislavsky. 

 

Now it is time for your Friday Fantasy Fuel with this collection of sizzlin' studs, hairy hunks and lithesome lads you will find on display below the play list.  If that is not enough fantasy fuel, check out Wet Dream 11 who is your Hottie of the Day! over on my tumblr.  Thanks for the visit, be sure to stop by for the Saturday at the Symphony Evening Concert tomorrow along with the some nummy nudies in this week's edition of Naked or Nearly So.  Until next time as always, Enjoy! 

Techy Stuff and Other Things

It was a fairly quiet and uneventful weekend with beautifully warm spring like temperatures.  People were out in droves in the cultural district and they really could not seem to get enough beer and wine.  We sold a ton or two of it over the course of the last 3 days.   In  my off time, I had caught up on all my feeds and most of my books, therefore I looked for something to occupy my time.  I have been having some issues with my computer which Will thought was due to some corruption in my OS.  So I bit the bullet, backed up all my data files to my second hard drive, then reformatted my main drive.  Then began the rather time consuming process of reinstalling Windows 7 Ultimate then in turn reinstalling all my programs and copying my backup files back over to my main drive.  I finally got all the MS updates downloaded and installed and I can't tell you how many times I had to restart my computer to get all that done.  However I have the task completed now and it seems to have removed most of the nagging little things which had been annoying me. 

Once that process was complete, before I left for work yesterday, I thought I would test to see if the problem I had been having with it not booting back up was resolved.  That was the wrong thing to do, as the reinstall did not fix the problem.  I could not get the computer to boot no matter  what I did.  My computer just refused to wake up from sleep mode.  Luckily for me I have my own little geek miracle worker living wiith me (Will).  He was able to get the computer to boot and I did not loose any data in the process.  From all we can determine, I either had a bad stick of RAM or the slot into which it fits is bad.  By removing the offending stick of RAM, Will was then able to get the computer to reboot.  So essentially I can do anything I want except put it to sleep.  I can restart it or shut it down, I just cannot wake it up from sleep mode. 

I have decided that since I have  2 good SATA hard drives, two good CD/DVD burners and a good 10/100/1000 ethernet card, instead of replacing the whole computer, I will upgrade the motherboard, processor and RAM.  This should be way more cost effective and I will not have to once again transfer all my files or reinstall any programs. That's a WIN for me any way you look at it. 

Before I can do that, I have to get us moved to a new and hopefully better complex in which to live.  While we have yet to  secure an alternate domicile, I hope to have that process completed so we can make a timely egress from our present little den of maintenance horrors by the first of May.  The I can work on funding the new parts for my computer so that the upgrade can be made.  With the upgrade completed, there is only one financial goal left in the plan for the rest of the year,  That would be to set aside the $500 to cover the deductible on the car insurance should anything untoward happen to my new car.  So things seem to be progressing in a timely fashion financially, so I need to start thinking of new financial goals and formulating a plan for next year.  All in good time. 

Today your Monday With Mozart features a live recording of Mozart's Viola Quintet in G Minor, K516 by the Ensemble ACJW.  The Ensemble ACJW was created in 2007 by Carnegie Hall's Executive and Artistic Director Clive Gillinson and The Juilliard School's President Joseph W. Polisi, Ensemble ACJW is an inspirational collective of young professional musicians who are fellows in a two-year program that supports them in building careers as top-quality performers, innovative programmers, and dedicated teachers who fully engage with the communities in which they live and work.

Ensemble ACJW includes music performance at the highest level, partnerships with New York City public schools, residencies at Skidmore College, opportunities to perform in a variety of community settings, and a robust commitment to professional development.  Today's performance was recorded at Music at our Saviour's Atonement, as part of Carnegie Hall's free Neighborhood Concert series on December 4, 2011.  You may also hear Arabella Steinbacher performing Mozart’s 3rd Violin Concerto with Marc Albrecht and Gothenburg Symphony over on my tumblr.

Then as is traditional in these pages on Monday, I have a little collection of Twinks, Twunks, Bears, Cubs and Otters lounging about the page in their finest Monday's Undies for your visual appreciation.  You can also see Bernardo Arriagada in his best Undergear, your  Hottie of the Day! over on my tumblr.   Thanks for starting your week here at Nichevo, see you again tomorrow.  Until next time as always, Enjoy!