The Wages of Sin

"Azaleas and Live Oaks, Magnolia Plantation"

Let's see now, where did I leave off? Oh yes, Fort Worth's finest had whisked me off to the lower environs of the police headquarters downtown. I was so appropriately dressed to be incarcerated in a redneck jail, shorts, flip flops and a T shirt advertising a Gay pornography web site. Needless to say, I was frightened by the prospect of being raped or beaten while a bunch of red neck cops looked on and laughed. The initial holding cell they placed me in was full of interesting characters from the seamier side of life and no furnishings whatsoever, just bare walls and floors. I huddled in a corner trying to hide the ad on my T shirt so the gang bangers in the other corner would not get any ideas. I was there for a bout 5 hours when they called me out to night court arraignment around 10 pm. At the arraignment they told me the warrant was out of Dallas and the bond was $490. The normal procedure was to stick me in the county jail to await pickup from the Dallas authorities, but the county jail downtown was full, so in the middle of the night (around 2 AM) they transferred me to the Mansfield Law Enforcement Center. This is a fancy name for an abysmal, filthy place for incarceration that is worse than any I have seen in many a year. Of course I do not make a habit of visiting jails, but you know what I mean. At this point in time I still had not had the opportunity to place a phone call, so no one knew where I was or what was happening to me. Around 5:45 AM they finally booked me into the MLEC from the holding cell and I was allowed a phone call. I called the store and talked to G for about two minutes before they hauled me off to a cell, but at least someone knew where I was and could set the wheels in motion to secure my release. Basically I was in a holding pattern waiting for Dallas to come pick me up. Unknown to me my boss and our police friends from around the store were trying to find me and get me out but the wheels of justice turn slowly and it took a while for me to show up in the system. Now the subsistence victuals they served as meals were much less than palatable and I was regulated to a spot on the floor in an 8 man cell with 11 men in it. I covered myself with the coarse blanket provided on the thin mat on the filthy floor and tried to sleep away the hours. I tried to talk to no one for fear of discovery and bodily harm, after all I was surrounded by young gangsters with whom I had no common ground. There was no TV, no books, nothing but cement walls, floors and metal bunks and dirty bodies. The next 24 hours were spent in fear and slumber as I tried to maintain my stoicism in the face of adversity. I made it through the night and into Friday morning without physical damage although my psyche was in some disarray as I knew nothing of outside events or if Will had discovered my whereabouts and circumstances.

Around 9 AM, Dallas authorities had not made an appearance so the Tarrant count folks at MLEC released me to make room for some other poor soul in trouble. I recovered my personal belongings, put my cell phone back together and found I had 10 voice mails, 4 from Will, 4 from Laurie (we had missed our lunch date on Thursday) and 2 from A. The MLEC is in the middle of nowhere about 20 miles from our apartment so I set out on foot heading north towards home as I could not get anything but voicemail from everyone I tried to call. I listened to my voice mails as I walked up the side of the highway and my heart was rent by the pain in Will's voice as he was trying to discover my whereabouts. By the fourth message he had been informed of my incarceration and was awaiting my release. I was a mess, crying as I was walking up the road for the pain and fear I had caused Will. I could not get him on the phone, just his voicemail. I got about 3 miles up the road when A returned my call. He said to stay where I was and he would come to pick me up. When he arrived at my location I sat down in the car and broke down from relief. He told me he had substituted Linda for me for the shift I was scheduled for that night and took me home to Will who was waiting on the steps for my arrival. He wrapped me in his arms and we cried before going inside. We still had to solve the power crisis, but I will tell you the rest of that story on Monday. I have Fraturday to get through and some basic things to do around the house now that we have the power thing resolved.

It is Friday and in honor of Casual Friday in offices everywhere, I have put together a little collection of Men In Jeans to jump start your weekend. Thanks for sticking around to find out where Uncle has been hiding the last week or so. Check back on Monday for the rest of the story. Until next time as always, Enjoy!

Note from Uncle: Picasa ate the original photos I uploaded so I have reuploaded them all, sorry you had to wait to see them so I included a couple extra for you, Enjoy!