National Coming Out Day

Today is National Coming Out Day so I thought I would spend some time on the subject. As most of you that have been out a long time know, coming out is not a one time thing, but an ongoing process. Each time you meet someone new, each time you start a new job or move to a new neighborhood, the process starts again. It would seem that it should get easier as time goes by and sometimes it is. That is not always the case. There have been times in my life when I wished that I had not come out to this person or that person because of their reaction. In the end though I have found being honest about myself has been the best thing for me if not for the person or persons I have come out to, that being their problem, not mine. Long time readers of Nichevo will remember the story I wrote about my official coming out in 1975, if not you can read about it here and here. I knew from the my early years that I was different from other guys and I did not grow up having crushes on girls but on guys. I did not always understand and because of my upbringing in the Southern Baptist church could not readily accept the fact I was a homosexual. It took me some years to get over my upbringing and several rounds of many red light districts while I was a sailor to finally get up the courage to admit to myself and accept as a fact of life "I am Gay". It was liberating and frightening at the same time and lead to a series of events so disastrous I thought I should have stayed in the closet. But I could not do that and live with myself so I continued the ongoing journey which is coming out. I still find myself having those thoughts and fears when I come in contact with new groups or individuals. I get a little angry sometimes when someone outs me to someone when I am not ready for that person to know. Maybe I am old fashioned, maybe I am still that frightened little boy who doesn't want anyone to know until I am sure I am ready for them to know. I do know that it is the best and the worst thing that has ever happend in my life. I have become friends with some marvelous people because of my honesty about myself and I have been rejected by many whom I thought should have stood by me and did not. For these and other reasons Nichevo was born so I could have a forum to express my thoughts, divulge my fears and share my joys. It has been a wonderful journey so far. I have met many good people through blogging and have shared good and bad times with many of them. Nichevo has opened up the world to me and the world had responded in a wonderfully positive way. If by being open about myself, my thoughts and my experiences has in some small way helped someone on their coming out journey, entertained, intrigued or informed them, then I have served my purpose and grown in the process. I thank all of the friend I have made through this process for being there for me and with me. There are some few to whom I am especially grateful and I will hold them close in my heart for the rest of my life. On this National Coming Out Day, come out to someone or be that friend and ally someone to whom they can come out . Pass your history along to them, lead them in the right direction and share your love of life with them. We are getting closer to the day when we will all be able to be open without recrimination. The more we are open about ourselves, the more people will see we are just people, not unlike themselves, with dreams and hopes, loves and fears, just wanting to live our lives in peace and harmony with the world. What more could we ask than that.

OutZone TV Coming Out Videos

HRC Coming Out Project

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