There are so many things on my mind today, I almost don't know where to start. It is Veteran's Day and I am a USN Viet Nam Vet, so I guess I should start there. There are a great number of very brave LGBT people serving in the military under the "auspices" of Don't Ask / Don't Tell who are mortally afraid of being outed, yet they continue to do an outstanding job because they love their country as do I. I salute them and remember them in my prayers to the God I know who loves them. I understand their fear for I too lived with that fear long before there was a DA/DT. When I got my draft notice on Christmas Eve 1970, I did not want to slog through the ground war in Viet Nam therefore I joined the Navy which is the service tradition in my family. I had to sign a statement swearing that I was not a homosexual in order to be able to enlist. I did sign it knowing, but not accepting the fact I was gay. 
At the time I was very much a closet case, president of my Sunday School class, and feeling like I was the only homosexual in Texas. There was no PFLAG, no gay and lesbian center, no Internet and living in the capitol of Redneck-ville which was Fort Worth I was severely limited in my options, to say the least. I was a really naive and backwards guy who had no real world experience, having been sheltered in the Southern Baptist church my whole life. The real world came as a real surprise to me, yet I was fascinated by it. I had had several gay encounters surreptitiously over the years, but was firmly locked behind the closet door in fear of myself. So now I found myself in the Navy and headed overseas for the first time. Like most sailors I tore up the bars and whore houses when on the beach, but I knew that the person I was portraying was not me. I made two Mediterranean cruises as well as a WestPac sojourn to Viet Nam before being transferred to shore duty in San Diego. By this time I had come to the realization that I could do nothing about the fact that I was gay, so I set out to discover just what it was that I was. Thankfully there was a Gay /Lesbian Center in San Diego where I began to meet others gay people. Some were sailors like me, but most were not. I marched in my first gay pride parade that year (1975) and met and fell head over heels in love with this beautiful young man on the beach.
The facility where I was stationed was a tactical support center for anti-submarine warfare and was a high security facility. I had a Top Secret clearance and it was my job to track all the submarines in the Pacific Ocean utilizing computer technology and integrating and coordinating with ASW aircraft squadrons. I would plan the missions, program the cassettes for the aircraft computers, and then decipher and disseminate the data to various officers for debrief and analysis. My immediate superior was the same rank as I but had a longer time in service. It did not matter that I could do my job and his with one arm tied behind my back (which I did) while he sat around drinking coffee and playing acey-duecey with the chiefs. He became a problem for me when I refused to run around to redneck honky-tonks with him so that he could chase women and cheat on his wife. When I was in the midst of my infatuation with the little guy on the beach he figured it out and maneuvered me into an admission of the fact that I was having an affair on the beach with a guy. He went straight to the Security Officer and I was removed from my post that day. After a three month wrangle with the powers that be, I was awarded a Good Conduct Medal for outstanding service and then separated because I was not good enough due to the fact that I was gay. Talk about your conundrums! Having been duly marked with the US government stamp of disapproval my life became pretty much of a wreck for a while. I could not go home as my parents would have disowned me for my disgrace, so I stayed on in San Diego for another year and got some additional schooling before heading back to Texas.
Upon my return, while staying at my folks, my Mother snooped in my briefcase and read a rather graphic letter I had written to a friend concerning an enjoyable sexual experience I had on the bus on the way back to Texas. My Mother went hysterical on me and refused to talk to me for the next two years and to this day we still cannot broach the subject. To have both the government's and my Mother's stern and unforgiving disapproval fucked with my head big time. It took many years and much therapy to be able to hold my head up and say fuck 'em if they can't take it, they don't have to live my life, I do. There is of course more to the story, but there are other posts for that, and I will get to them as we go along. The moral of the story is support your LGBT brothers and sisters in the military, as most of them feel as isolated, alone and fearful as I did. They deserve our love and support wherever and whenever we can give it. I will do my part, will you do yours? Remember, Don't Ask / Don't Tell sucks, but not as good as some of my friends........
Now on to more pleasant thoughts. I have added a subscription feature for Nichevo from FeedBlitz so that you can be notified of my new posts in your email. You will find it in the side bar, just enter your email address and FeedBlitz will take care of the rest. I already have some subscribers and it is gratifying to know that someone out there is picking up on what I have to say and show. Also in the news today is a rather glowing review of my work in Best Gay Blogs, for which I thank Ryan and crew very much. You can read their review as well as comment on their post. As always you can add you comments to this post by clicking on the link at the end of the post.
I received a really sweet note in my email today from Enzo Vacano, pictured at the left saying that he had noticed Nichevo and would I like to feature him in an article here. Boy was I pumped. I first noticed him over at Beautiful and saved his pictures to my hard drive. I wrote him back and asked if he would consent to an interview and maybe some exclusive photos for display here and he responded affirmatively, so look for an up coming exclusive post featuring this very fine looking Frenchman who was so kind as to notice and write to me. It was a fine way to start my morning.
I also received positive feedback in the form of comments from you guys on some of my earlier posts. I thank you, thank you, thank you. I is very heartening to know that what I have to say has some relevance to my readers. Keep on coming back and leave your comments so I will know what you are thinking. Who knows? Maybe this blogging thing will turn out all right for me after all. I was a little intimidated when I began. I am not a real geek, I don't know HTML or anything, I just know who I am and what I like. So it is a joy to know that there are people out there that can relate to what I have to say. It doesn't hurt to have really great photography either!
It is my hope and desire to be able to reach out to you guys wherever you may be and develop a bond of friendship with you. By sharing my stories, thoughts and feeling with you, I heal the inner me and strengthen my resolve to face life with out fear. Homophobia still exist but is growing weaker by the day. I want to do my part to make this world a better place. Thank you for allowing me this forum as a place to do that. Keep reading and looking at the pictures. As always, until next time, Enjoy!
The facility where I was stationed was a tactical support center for anti-submarine warfare and was a high security facility. I had a Top Secret clearance and it was my job to track all the submarines in the Pacific Ocean utilizing computer technology and integrating and coordinating with ASW aircraft squadrons. I would plan the missions, program the cassettes for the aircraft computers, and then decipher and disseminate the data to various officers for debrief and analysis. My immediate superior was the same rank as I but had a longer time in service. It did not matter that I could do my job and his with one arm tied behind my back (which I did) while he sat around drinking coffee and playing acey-duecey with the chiefs. He became a problem for me when I refused to run around to redneck honky-tonks with him so that he could chase women and cheat on his wife. When I was in the midst of my infatuation with the little guy on the beach he figured it out and maneuvered me into an admission of the fact that I was having an affair on the beach with a guy. He went straight to the Security Officer and I was removed from my post that day. After a three month wrangle with the powers that be, I was awarded a Good Conduct Medal for outstanding service and then separated because I was not good enough due to the fact that I was gay. Talk about your conundrums! Having been duly marked with the US government stamp of disapproval my life became pretty much of a wreck for a while. I could not go home as my parents would have disowned me for my disgrace, so I stayed on in San Diego for another year and got some additional schooling before heading back to Texas.
Upon my return, while staying at my folks, my Mother snooped in my briefcase and read a rather graphic letter I had written to a friend concerning an enjoyable sexual experience I had on the bus on the way back to Texas. My Mother went hysterical on me and refused to talk to me for the next two years and to this day we still cannot broach the subject. To have both the government's and my Mother's stern and unforgiving disapproval fucked with my head big time. It took many years and much therapy to be able to hold my head up and say fuck 'em if they can't take it, they don't have to live my life, I do. There is of course more to the story, but there are other posts for that, and I will get to them as we go along. The moral of the story is support your LGBT brothers and sisters in the military, as most of them feel as isolated, alone and fearful as I did. They deserve our love and support wherever and whenever we can give it. I will do my part, will you do yours? Remember, Don't Ask / Don't Tell sucks, but not as good as some of my friends........
Now on to more pleasant thoughts. I have added a subscription feature for Nichevo from FeedBlitz so that you can be notified of my new posts in your email. You will find it in the side bar, just enter your email address and FeedBlitz will take care of the rest. I already have some subscribers and it is gratifying to know that someone out there is picking up on what I have to say and show. Also in the news today is a rather glowing review of my work in Best Gay Blogs, for which I thank Ryan and crew very much. You can read their review as well as comment on their post. As always you can add you comments to this post by clicking on the link at the end of the post.
I received a really sweet note in my email today from Enzo Vacano, pictured at the left saying that he had noticed Nichevo and would I like to feature him in an article here. Boy was I pumped. I first noticed him over at Beautiful and saved his pictures to my hard drive. I wrote him back and asked if he would consent to an interview and maybe some exclusive photos for display here and he responded affirmatively, so look for an up coming exclusive post featuring this very fine looking Frenchman who was so kind as to notice and write to me. It was a fine way to start my morning.I also received positive feedback in the form of comments from you guys on some of my earlier posts. I thank you, thank you, thank you. I is very heartening to know that what I have to say has some relevance to my readers. Keep on coming back and leave your comments so I will know what you are thinking. Who knows? Maybe this blogging thing will turn out all right for me after all. I was a little intimidated when I began. I am not a real geek, I don't know HTML or anything, I just know who I am and what I like. So it is a joy to know that there are people out there that can relate to what I have to say. It doesn't hurt to have really great photography either!
It is my hope and desire to be able to reach out to you guys wherever you may be and develop a bond of friendship with you. By sharing my stories, thoughts and feeling with you, I heal the inner me and strengthen my resolve to face life with out fear. Homophobia still exist but is growing weaker by the day. I want to do my part to make this world a better place. Thank you for allowing me this forum as a place to do that. Keep reading and looking at the pictures. As always, until next time, Enjoy!
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