State of Mind

Mental Health issues are not a subject many who are afflicted with them wish to advertise or discuss with anyone other than their doctor.  However, the people in their lives are affected by the manifestations of those issues when they occur.  I am afflicted with a couple of these issues, Bi-Polar Disorder and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, although PTSD affects me to a lesser degree than Bi-Polarity.  The last week has been one long Bi-Polar episode for me which has pretty much driven Will up the wall as he admits he does not understand the disorder or how it affects me.  In order to make things a little clearer for both you and him, I will attempt to explain some of the causes and effects of this disorder with liberal help from Wikipedia.  

Bi-Polar Disorder is a type of mental illness, specifically a mood disorder, characterized by episodes of an elevated or agitated mood known as mania that often alternates with episodes of depression. These episodes can impair the individual's ability to function in ordinary life. About 3% of people have bipolar disorder worldwide, a proportion consistent for both men and women and across racial and ethnic groups. The cause is not clearly understood, but genetic and environmental risk factors are believed to play a role. Treatment commonly includes psychotherapy and mood stabilizing medication.

Mania is the defining feature of bipolar disorder, and can occur with different levels of severity. With milder levels of mania, known as hypomania, individuals appear energetic, excitable, and may be highly productive. As mania worsens, individuals begin to exhibit erratic and impulsive behavior, often making poor decisions due to unrealistic ideas about the future, and sleep very little. At the most severe level, manic individuals can experience very distorted beliefs about the world known as psychosis.

Individuals who experience manic episodes also commonly experience depressive episodes; some experience a mixed state in which features of both mania and depression are present at the same time. Manic and depressive episodes last from a few days to several months.

Signs and symptoms of the depressive phase of bipolar disorder include persistent feelings of sadness, anxiety, guilt, anger, isolation, or hopelessness;^[13] disturbances in sleep and appetite; fatigue and loss of interest in usually enjoyable activities; problems concentrating; loneliness, self-loathing, apathy or indifference; depersonalization; loss of interest in sexual activity; shyness or social anxiety; irritability, chronic pain (with or without a known cause); lack of motivation; and morbid suicidal thoughts.^[13] In severe cases, the individual may become psychotic, a condition also known as severe bipolar depression with psychotic features. These symptoms include delusions or, less commonly, hallucinations, which are usually unpleasant. A major depressive episode persists for at least two weeks, and may continue for over six months if left untreated.^[14]

In the context of bipolar disorder, a mixed state is a condition during which symptoms of mania and depression occur at the same time. Typical examples include crying during a manic episode or racing thoughts during a depressive episode. Individuals may also feel very frustrated in this state, for example, thinking grandiose thoughts while at the same time feeling like a failure. Mixed states are often the most dangerous period of mood disorders, during which the risks of substance abuse, panic disorder, suicide attempts, and other complications greatly increase.

For me, it is not always possible to pinpoint a triggering event, sometimes I just wake up depressed, sometimes I wake up in an euphoric state.  However a euphoric state disrupted by a major disappointment or stress event will trigger a depressive episode lasting several days or weeks.  This week the rejection of my application at the complex to which we wanted to move combined with the stress involved in trying to make this change on short notice triggered my latest depressive episode.  I am getting over it, I can tell because I slept for more than 9 hours, albeit in about 3 stages.  I have medicine which I can take, but I hesitate to do so as the medicine makes me slow and zombie like as well as causing sexual dysfunction.  So I generally just try to soldier on through it although those around me are greatly affected by my erratic behavior.  My apologies to Will and everyone else who has patiently put up with me through this latest depressive episode.

Your Musical Moment for today features the classic 1954 recording of the Violin Concerto in D Major, Opus 77 by Johannes Brahms.  Today's performance is by the Staatskapelle Dresden under the baton of Franz Konwitchny featuring David Oistrakh as the Violin Soloists.  You may also catch David Oistrakh's 1959 performance of Tchaikovsky's Violin Concerto in D Major, Opus 35 over on my tumblr.

Then to brighten your day and mine, below today's video is a torrid collection of tantalizing torsos and tushes served up as your Tuesday's Temptations for this week. There is also the Hottie of the Day! for further inspiration over on my tumblr.  Thanks for the visit, see you again tomorrow.  Until next time as always, Enjoy!