Two Tales for a Tuesday

I have maintained since arriving back in my hometown nearly five years ago that I work at the corner of Crazy Ave and Stupid St.  Sometimes events occur that bear out the fact that I am pretty accurate in that assumption.  A lot of those events are not too amusing, but then some are just downright hilarious.  Take this example from last Saturday night.  I was out taking a smoke break and there was this man in the parking lot who was trying to get the trunk to open on his car.  I do not know what the problem was, but pulling on the release lever did not work, nor did the key in the lock.  I watched for some 15-20 minutes as the man got more and more frustrated.  Finally in anger and desperation, he start tossing everything he had in the back seat into the front of the car, lowered the seat backs and crawled through the trunk to open it from the inside.  The man popped up out of the trunk, furious that a simple thing like opening the trunk of his car had become so much of an ordeal.  In his frustration, he reared back and went to kick the back end of the car.  He put his all into that kick, however he missed the back of the car and his momentum swept him off his feet and he landed on his ass.  I burst into laughter because I had not seen such a perfect whiff since I last watched Lucy pull the ball out from Charlie Brown landing him on his ass.  I felt kind of bad for laughing, but it was fucking funny!  The man survived his embarrassment and a sore butt to go on his merry way.  I am wondering if this morning he can see the humor in the story ( and he is not too embarrassed to tell the story to any of his friends! Or better yet, post it on facebook or twitter!)     

Then there was this incident that occurred about 11:30 last night.  We were fairly busy with both my coworker and I at the registers with several customers in the store when this good looking 6'2" Black man sporting a six pack came striding into the store angrily demanding to use my store phone to call someone to come pick him up.  I know he had a six pack as well as being well endowed because he came in wearing only burgundy boxers and white footies.  I refused to let him use my phone, telling him there were pay phones on the side of the building.  This pissed him off even more and he went storming out of the store, slamming the door open into my cement trash container hard enough to shake the building, then proceeded to curse and raise hell in the parking lot.  So I called the cops to come get him.  Now ordinarily, encountering a half naked Black man sporting a six pack and a  big dick in his underwear would really not be a problem.  After all I am all in favor of eye candy and the half naked part could lead to some rather interesting activities. But then I don't run into many half naked people in a public place of commerce, even at 11:30 at night.  The cops responded and eventually took the man down to the Psyche ward at JPS.  Turns out that he was somewhat of a nut job who had been harassing some woman in a bar when three of her friends came to her defense, beat him up a little then stole his clothes,  telling him to hoof it on home which is the point at which he entered my store.  I really felt it was sort of an appropriate occurrence for a Monday seeing as how the eye candy them for yesterday was of course, Monday's Undies.  I just did not expect to see a perfect physical example of eye candy to come strutting angrily into my store instead of lounging about the pages of Nichevo.  But it certainly made for a very interesting topic of conversation for the rest of the night.

Now for your Musical Moment for today, I have 6 Concerti from Opus 5 by Willem de Fesch.  Included in the play list are Concerto No. 4 in D major for Flute and Orchestra, Concerto No. 5 in C minor for Violin and Orchestra, Concerto No. 3 in G major for 2 Flutes and Orchestra, Concerto No. 2 in G minor for 2 Flutes and Orchestra, Concerto No. 6 in E major for Violin and Orchestra and Concerto No. 1 in D major for 2 Flutes and Orchestra.  Today's performance is by Musica ad Rhenum under the direction of Founder and Flautist Jan Wentz. 

Then to conclude today's post I have put together this collection tight torsos and bubbly butts along with a delicious dick or two to serve as this week's Tuesday Temptations cavorting around the page following the video.  Thanks for the visit, see you again soon.  Until next time as always, Enjoy!