This is the second time I am writing this post as my computer froze in the middle of the first time and I lost the post when I had to shut down. A good story though can stand the retelling, so we will again tell the tale and bring you along for the ride. The picture above is entitled "Sleeping Soundly" and I could not resist it when I found it in Web Shots, so it is my post Christmas Desk Top Photo. The kitten is indicative of the sleep of an untroubled heart at peace with the world. This is my wish for all of you tonight. I know there are some of you out there that are anxiously awaiting the report on my visit with the family after so long an estrangement, so let us not dally. I must say after all the trepidation I put upon myself, the day was ever so much more than I expected. It never ceases to amaze me the potential for good in all people. I owe this day to my niece, Melissa, who engineered a Christmas miracle and who is a miracle in her own right. A two time lymphoma survivor who spent so much time in the hospital as a child she fell in love with nursing. She is a graduate of Texas Christian University and an oncology nurse at Children's Hospital here in Dallas. I love you dearly Melissa, and this post is dedicated to you.
I had trouble sleeping on Christmas Eve as the awareness of the potential for the events to come was weighing heavily on my mind. I gave up trying to sleep about 4 am and drove myself crazy with all the scenarios that could occur. The one that did occur was not one that I could have scripted any better in any way. By the time that Melissa arrived after her shift at Children's to pick me up I was out of cigs and a nervous wreck. She arrived around 8 am and we proceeded on our journey, stopping to get cappuccino and cigs on the way. Melissa was able to allay my fears and calm my nerves so that upon our arrival at my brother Larry's house I was if not calm at least not fearful of the events about to unfold. Our arrival was greeted with open arms by Larry, his wife D J and her mother Naomi. Larry is my younger brother, has always been the peacemaker in the family and the only one to accept my orientation with out reservation. So despite my not having seen or spoken to him in two years, it was if I had seen him last week and he welcomed me with a big hug. No words were spoken initially, as none were needed. It was one of those moments when communication was possible without screwing it up with conversation. As the rest of the family was not due to arrive for some time, we had a chance to visit and share some quality time while beginning the preparations for the luncheon to follow. We did the stocking thing and pulled up Nichevo on his computer so I could show him my Christmas post I had worked so hard on. Melissa went off in the other room to rest a bit as she had just finished a twelve hour shift and needed to recharge her battery for the day ahead. It was a morning filled with warmth and promise.
The first guests to arrive were unknown to me at the time, a wonderful lady named Casey and her mother, Jonnie. Casey knew Larry and D J through their Harley Owner's Group (HOG) as they had been riding together for about 5 years. I did not understand why they were invited to the family dinner, but as all good things come to he who waits, all was revealed as time passed. Shortly after their arrival, my older brother Skip and my niece Ethany arrived. Ethany as always gave me a big hug and Skip shook my hand without saying much which for him is a concession of interstellar proportions. He was his usual stick in the mud self but as that was a known quality, it was not surprising to see. That he spoke to me at all was a Christmas miracle in itself, so I counted myself lucky to get what I did. While it was not acceptance, it was not rejection either so it was a sign of progress. My Mother was the last to arrive, she had a ton of stuff to unload so we busied ourselves with the task at hand having to find a place for even more food than was there already and gifts and so on and so forth. While she did not jump for joy when I opened the door, neither did she shrink from my kiss on her cheek as has happened before. This too was a sign of progress. As we did not speak of anything controversial during our time together, one cannot suppose this was reconciliation at its finest, yet it was at least an armistice in the conflicts of the past. It may yet get warmer in our relationship, but at least we moved from Antarctica into the southern temperate zone without damage to the ship of state as it were.
The seating arrangements for the luncheon was diplomacy at its finest accomplished by Melissa and D J with an eye for detail enviable even by the most experienced diplomats in DC. I was seated between Casey and Naomi and across from Mother Jonnie and Ethany. Skip and Larry were the end to my right and Melissa and D J were at the end to my left with Melissa sitting next to Casey. As both ladies are nurses there was a natural bond there so they had lots to share. After the blessing conversation lagged for a minute due to the sound of happy forks digging in to all the bounty that was there. As the meal went on, conversations flowed easily as each person had some story or experience to relate. My youngest niece Amanda was unable to attend as she is doing the youth hostel tour of Australia after working two years on a cruise ship to earn the money. She is in Adelaide right now headed to Ayres Rock. That led to the subject of tourism and immigration. Now if you know anything of Texas, there is a lot of Hispanic immigration both legal and otherwise, even the New York Times ran a series last week on a family in San Antonio who were partly legal and partly not. Anyway, we got to talking about speaking Espanol and I explained to Casey that I was learning Spanish by talking to the people and could even make the joke "Spanish is important as it is the National Language of Texas" which always receives a laugh when I say it in Spanish to a customer. Of course stick in the mud had to chime in with the red neck statement of you should tell them this is America speak English. It was ignored completely by all. How can they learn English if no one takes the time to teach them in their own language? Anyway, I let it pass as getting into a philosophical discussion with Skip would lead nowhere good so I chose to be noble in ignoring the statement. The meal was wonderful as we all ate too much as is the case at these affairs and no surprise. But the ease of conversation and the good will displayed was truly a wonderful and welcome way together with all in attendance.
The seating arrangements for the luncheon was diplomacy at its finest accomplished by Melissa and D J with an eye for detail enviable even by the most experienced diplomats in DC. I was seated between Casey and Naomi and across from Mother Jonnie and Ethany. Skip and Larry were the end to my right and Melissa and D J were at the end to my left with Melissa sitting next to Casey. As both ladies are nurses there was a natural bond there so they had lots to share. After the blessing conversation lagged for a minute due to the sound of happy forks digging in to all the bounty that was there. As the meal went on, conversations flowed easily as each person had some story or experience to relate. My youngest niece Amanda was unable to attend as she is doing the youth hostel tour of Australia after working two years on a cruise ship to earn the money. She is in Adelaide right now headed to Ayres Rock. That led to the subject of tourism and immigration. Now if you know anything of Texas, there is a lot of Hispanic immigration both legal and otherwise, even the New York Times ran a series last week on a family in San Antonio who were partly legal and partly not. Anyway, we got to talking about speaking Espanol and I explained to Casey that I was learning Spanish by talking to the people and could even make the joke "Spanish is important as it is the National Language of Texas" which always receives a laugh when I say it in Spanish to a customer. Of course stick in the mud had to chime in with the red neck statement of you should tell them this is America speak English. It was ignored completely by all. How can they learn English if no one takes the time to teach them in their own language? Anyway, I let it pass as getting into a philosophical discussion with Skip would lead nowhere good so I chose to be noble in ignoring the statement. The meal was wonderful as we all ate too much as is the case at these affairs and no surprise. But the ease of conversation and the good will displayed was truly a wonderful and welcome way together with all in attendance.
In the course of conversing with Casey shortly after her arrival, I had learned of the passing of her husband on the 12th of December. I went into full Uncle Gerry and was able to draw her and Jonnie out into the celebration so they would remember this Christmas with fondness instead of loneliness and grief. This is not the time of year one wants to deal with the aftermath of an untimely death, so I took it upon myself to ensure Casey and Jonnie were surrounded by joy for at least a little while. While not having the financial where means to buy Christmas for my anyone, I was able to give of myself and see the tensions lines on their faces ease off into smiles and their burden lifted for the time we were together. I made new friends in the process and received a blessing more valuable to me than anything that I could have gotten as a present. The opportunity to bless another when presented and acted upon imparts the blessing not only to the recipient but also to the giver. It made this Christmas more special to me as I was able to give to another the comfort and joy all should have at this time of year. In return, I was blessed with two new friends and a peace that I had not felt for quite some time. For this I am truly grateful, this would not have been the day it was if I had not done my part to express the love that is the essence of the holiday. One must always do unto others what we would others do for us in the same circumstance. This is the Spirit of Christmas and the gift we can give even if we have nothing else. A gift of ourselves has no price and could not be bought with all the gold in the world.
As we opened presents, there was a general air of good will and happiness all around. I received some nice gifts, but they paled in comparison to the gift I was able to give and the blessings it provided to the recipient and the giver. I am so glad I got the opportunity to share of myself with these two marvelous ladies. One can never tell where the ripples we create in the water will end up or the lives that our actions will touch. Yet we must be prepared for the opportunity as it presents itself. While the time with my family was not a total reconciliation with all the past forgotten, it was a time of sharing and peace we had not experienced in some years. No one was slighted or belittled, all were made to feel welcome, and all felt the Spirit of Christmas that encompassed us all around. My Mother, Skip and Ethany left shortly after presents were opened, but I stayed and enjoyed visiting with Larry and D J until Larry brought me home around midnight. I was full, content and pleased with the day experiencing the aura of peace surrounding me. I thought it could not get any better, but I was mistaken.
Upon my arrival home, I as a matter of habit checked my email and found a missive from BTY in Houston. BTY is another special friend I have met through the journeys I have recorded in these pages. He serves as my muse as much as Ryan and Mikey to inspire me to share myself with you as I relate the stories I have to tell. His missive was full of joy and and encouragement and I could not wait to tell him of my day so I sat down to write him the short version or today's post. After I was finished, I listened to all the music I had posted for Christmas here just to put the frosting on the cake that was the day full of blessing that I had experienced. I finally got to bed around 3 am and fell into a sound sleep thinking happy thoughts unaware that the Spirit of Christmas was not done with me yet.
As related in previous posts, Ryan and I chat most mornings by IM, so it was no surprise when I was awakened by the sound of him chiming in to my computer around 8 am. I am usually up much earlier but with the late night I was still in bed. I was dying to hear of Mike's reaction to his present from Ryan as he had told me what it was beforehand. You can read Mikes take on it here, as well as see the picture that was taken. I was unprepared for what Ryan next told me as I had not read Mike's post yet. These two boys are the sweetest couple that I have met in many a year. I count myself blessed to be their friend and I read their blog every day. I started reading Boys Are Ugly But So Cute as I am a sucker for a good romance and theirs is a love for the ages as related in their pages. I can say from personal experience in getting to know them they are the real deal. Their love is an example of all that is right with young Gay men. If you have read their blog then you will know Mike lives in West Virginia and Ryan lives in Atlanta. This is not insurmountable, yet it does present its logistical problems. This is their first Christmas they have gotten to be with each other as Mike came down to Atlanta and is staying with Ryan at the family home. O that all families could be as open to love as Ryan's. Anyway, I was curious to know what Mike had gotten for Ryan as he had been mysterious about it so as not to spoil the surprise. Unknown to everyone, Mike had entered into a conspiracy with Ryan's mom and was set to rock Ryan's world although he himself was in doubt of the success of the venture. You simply have to read his post to know the depths of his love for Ryan and his hesitance in believing in himself. He need not have worried, he gave Ryan exactly what he wanted most for Christmas. While the family was opening presents, Ryan told me Mike gave him a card telling him that he was not going back to West Virginia, he was in Atlanta to stay. When he told me this I thought I was going to burst with happiness. I too cried and if I was in Atlanta I would have hugged Mike so hard I might have broken some ribs. That boy just flat out ROCKS! I am such a sucker for romance and Mike, in his own shy way, had given Ryan the thing he had wanted most. The gift of himself which is beyond priceless and one that Ryan will treasure forever. Ryan and I talked for quite some time this morning while Mike was out doing "guy stuff" with Ryan's dad. I am so profoundly happy for the two of them. I told Ryan I was speechless with joy. I offer my heartiest congratulations to them both. It made this Christmas one that I will remember for a long, long time. Not for the gifts that I received, but for the love that was shared all around. Mike if you are reading this know that what you gave Ryan was the best thing you could have given him. You are what he wanted and you gave yourself to him. That gift is more precious and priceless than any you could have spent your money on. I wish for you many years with Ryan filled with love and joy. It made my Christmas, you are one sweet fellow and Ryan is so lucky to have found you. Never stop loving each other, and keep sharing that love as you always have in your pages, we want to be along for the ride.
I am sorry I am so late in getting this posted, but as I said, my computer locked up and I had to rewrite the whole story. I don't mind the extra effort, this story was just to special not to relate it to you in all its detail. They say it is always darkest before the dawn, well it got pretty dark around here the last couple of months and I am not yet out of the woods. However, I can see a glorious dawn breaking with hope for a brighter tomorrow just ahead. My new job starts next week, my family spent time together without emotional bloodshed, Ryan and Mikey are together at last, I am just wondering how it could get any better than this. I with the vocabulary of Noah Webster have no words to express the happiness I feel at this moment. It is the Christmas Miracle that I could not have scripted any better if my life depended on it. So dear readers as I close this evening, I wish for you all the Blessings of the Season and all the Love that is possible to give. Thank you for stopping by, come by again and often, pay Mike and Ryan a visit to offer your congratulations, and pass the Love along to those you meet. You just might be surprised when you discover how much love you have when you give it to someone else, and would that not be a discovery worth more than any price we could pay? Until next time as always, Enjoy!
I am sorry I am so late in getting this posted, but as I said, my computer locked up and I had to rewrite the whole story. I don't mind the extra effort, this story was just to special not to relate it to you in all its detail. They say it is always darkest before the dawn, well it got pretty dark around here the last couple of months and I am not yet out of the woods. However, I can see a glorious dawn breaking with hope for a brighter tomorrow just ahead. My new job starts next week, my family spent time together without emotional bloodshed, Ryan and Mikey are together at last, I am just wondering how it could get any better than this. I with the vocabulary of Noah Webster have no words to express the happiness I feel at this moment. It is the Christmas Miracle that I could not have scripted any better if my life depended on it. So dear readers as I close this evening, I wish for you all the Blessings of the Season and all the Love that is possible to give. Thank you for stopping by, come by again and often, pay Mike and Ryan a visit to offer your congratulations, and pass the Love along to those you meet. You just might be surprised when you discover how much love you have when you give it to someone else, and would that not be a discovery worth more than any price we could pay? Until next time as always, Enjoy!
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